I don’t know how many readers of this blog have ever dieted, but I suspect a fair percentage of you all have tried, at some point, to lose weight. Some of you may have even lost weight. I sure have, a number of times. One unifying characteristic of myself during these times of dieting “success,” besides being hungry and food obsessed, was that I was cold. I mean C-O-L-D cold. Between dropping body-insulating fat and constantly drinking water, I could barely function in the summer in the US south due to overzealous air conditioning, or in the winter, due to cold. Cold cold cold cold cold.
When we first moved to Chicago in August of 2004, the city was in the middle of a freakish cold snap with overcast days and temperatures barely into the 60s. Although being “cold natured” (read: uninsulated), I had lived in the south for five years and therefore had a southerner’s wardrobe, and was convinced that I would end my time on earth by October, probably looking something like this:
As I’ve said here before, I’m done dieting. As a result, I am fat. I’m working on being okay with this, but it’s not always easy. But I’ll tell you what, when the forecast highs for the week barely crack the 30 degree mark, and I’m looking at a looooong* morning walk to the train through a Real Feel** temperature of eight, I am not only okay with my fat, but I love it. I want to hug it, take it to the movies, and buy it some of that insanely rich and delicious hot chocolate from Starbucks*** so that it will stick around and keep on keeping me warm. I mean, I work at a desk next to two poorly-insulated windows and I haven’t even had to bust out the $1.99 Walgreens gloves with the fingers cut out of them! I felt the cold wind on my face this morning and I probably wouldn’t have wanted to stand around outside for more than five or ten minutes, but I was reasonably comfortable and I am only wearing one each of the following garments: socks, pants, shirt, and sweater.**** Three years ago, leaving the house with any less than four shirts (I am not exaggerating), two pairs of socks, and long underwear under my pants would have been unheard of.
So, in the spirit of Good With Cheese and her admonitions to not just tolerate but actually enjoy and appreciate our bodies, I’d like to say to my body: Thanks, fat. Thanks for keeping me warm. Good job.
*Not really that long at all. It just feels like it when it’s cold and windy out.
**WTF is Real Feel anyway? Isn’t how we experience temperature too damn subjective to make how the weather actually feels part of a supposedly objective and scientific forecast? I mean, come on! At least with the “wind chill” you’re factoring in measurable variables insted of like, people’s opinions.
***I’ve actually never had this delicious hot chocolate due to always being on a God damn diet, and after a web search to find out what it was actually called I learned two things. One, it’s called Chantico and two, Starbucks isn’t making it anymore and so the life lesson learned here is this: Get the stupid hot chocolate while you can. Duh.
****The shirt is really a soft warm fuzzy short-sleeved turtleneck and the sweater is also of the soft warm fuzzy variety because I’m fat, but I’m not a total idiot. It’s twenty-one objective degrees out there!
20 comments
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December 3, 2007 at 10:19 am
fillyjonk
One, it’s called Chantico and two, Starbucks isn’t making it anymore
Aw, you tease, OTM! I read this and was like “what, Starbucks has delicious hot chocolate? I’m going to go there RIGHT NOW.” (I don’t usually patronize them as I can’t really tolerate coffee anymore and I think all their baked goods taste like candles.)
It’s objectively in the fifties here, so I’ll have to appreciate my fat for the way that it cushions my bones instead of for the way it warms them. It’s true that my fat saves me money on outerwear, though!
December 3, 2007 at 10:20 am
kateharding
FWIW, Al is a HUGE fan of Starbucks regular old hot chocolate, which is definitely still available. I’m not much of a hot chocolate drinker, so I’ve never tried it (I’m more into the caramel apple spice, even though it is sometimes so sweet it literally makes my teeth hurt), but he would definitely advise you to give the standard hot chocolate a try.
And hell yes about fat and Chicago winters. I’m one of those people who is always cold, and I can’t even fathom how bad it would be living here if I were thin. (Toronto, which doesn’t have nearly the same wind, was bad enough.) Also? Eating is good. A couple times in the last week, I’ve had the experience of walking out TO dinner feeling like I was gonna die from the cold, then walking out after a meal and actually being able to bear it reasonably well. I’m pretty sure salad with plain vinegar — my go-to order if I had to go to a restaurant when I was dieting — wouldn’t heat up my insides like that.
December 3, 2007 at 10:38 am
OTM
Around our house we’ve been making Mexican hot chocolate and dumping a healthy dose of Kaluhua in it to satisfy our hot chocolate jones.
I’m way too much of a coffee addict to buy regular hot chocolate at Starbucks. I would drink it and think, “For this money, I could be drinking coffee…” Apparently that Chantico stuff was in a class of its own what with the richness and the chocolate and the awesome.
December 3, 2007 at 10:41 am
hilary
“Get the stupid hot chocolate while you can.”
This made me laugh, but it’s so effin true!
December 3, 2007 at 10:56 am
vesta44
Hey, Minnesota winters make me glad I’m fat. DH is always telling me I need to wear a heavier coat when we go out (it’s 7 degrees today with about 10 inches of snow on the ground) and I’ll wear my winter coat, but it won’t be zipped because I get too hot in it. If the temps are in the teens, I usually wear a very light jacket because I just don’t feel the cold as much as others do (they all look at me like I’m crazy because I’m not all bundled up). Gloves and a hat are still a necessity, though, that wind chill is a killer on hands and ears no matter how fat I am.
December 3, 2007 at 11:31 am
Tari
I broke myself of my $10-a-day Starbucks habit (insanity!), but this time of year, their egg nog white mocha calls my name every morning. It ain’t fair trade, and it sure as hell ain’t organic, but it’s soooooooo tasty. Evil Starbucks!
December 3, 2007 at 11:43 am
kat
My daughter has cystic fibrosis. It is an incurable genetic disease that involves the lungs & digestive sytem. Folks with CF can have a very difficult time keeping their weight on. My bright, pretty, smart, daughter eats constantly, eats anything, and eats a lot, yet she is thin. I would say, lucky her, except that I know how terrible the disease is & all that she goes through.
Love your fat. Fat IS good, especially in winter. Fat makes me a freak of nature…not in a bad way….in a good way. I am as good as standing near a fire! I emanate heat. My thin daughter loves it! She is forever wanting to snuggle in with me to warm up. That is a real fat perk considering today is her 12th birthday!
If you don’t mind I’m going to sneak over & make my comment into a short post. I need to wish her a happy 12th anyhow:)
December 3, 2007 at 12:10 pm
juliafaye
Peppermint white chocolate mocha = NOM.
December 3, 2007 at 12:22 pm
OTM
kat, of COURSE I don’t mind. Happy 12th birthday to your daughter!
December 3, 2007 at 12:40 pm
OTM
Ooo… vesta44, 7 degrees and 10 inches of snow? Maybe I should move to MN. I was listening to a story on NPR about Iceland’s use of geothermal energy for heat and hot water needs and decided I want to move to Reykjavík.
December 3, 2007 at 1:35 pm
vesta44
It’s not always like this in MN in winter. Last year, when DH and I got married in December, it was 50 degrees and no snow so we got married in the front yard under the birch tree. Pretty neat, I can tell ya that. :)
December 3, 2007 at 1:43 pm
Rachel
I never had a problem with being cold until I lost 60 percent of my body weight, and although I’ve regained about 30 to 40 percent of that weight back, I’m still cold, cold, cold. I also have hypothyoidism and I’m often anemic, which contributes to the perpetual feel as if I’m in the arctic. In fact, one of my very favorite things to do is creep up behind my husband and touch him on the neck or back with by cold, cold fingers. It’s cruel, I know, but you haven’t heard him squeal.
Chicago is a cool city, but I could never live there because it’s so, so cold.
December 3, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Rachel
Oh, as for Starbucks… I generally like to patronize the indie coffeeshops in the area, but I have to say, Starbucks offers the best steamed soy milk evah. Since it’s not on the menu, I tend to get strange looks from the baristas, who often don’t know how to ring it up. I’ve been charged anywhere from 40 cents to more than $3 – I figure it all balances out in the end.
I get it steamed, plain, no syrups or anything. Then, I put in a few packs of Splenda and some of the vanilla powder. Pure heaven.
December 3, 2007 at 1:58 pm
OTM
one of my very favorite things to do is creep up behind my husband and touch him on the neck or back with by cold, cold fingers.
Ahh! My husband, who is a tall, slim, cold dude, does that to me all the time.
December 3, 2007 at 4:06 pm
nuckingfutz
:lol: MY husband just did that to me a couple of hours ago when I was cleaning the kitchen!
I know what you mean, though, OTM… most winters here (NE UK), I’m walking around in a hoodie and I’m fine. ‘Cause it just doesn’t get that cold here (usually – this year we’re experiencing one of the coldest winters in decades). Although I do admit to wearing a scarf and gloves even when the rest of me isn’t that cold – my hands and neck seem a little more sensitive than the rest of me (matter of fact, my fingers are freezing right now). For me, I think it’s a combination of the fat factor and having lived my entire life in the Chicago area. When you’ve walked a mile to school in 3 degree weather PLUS windchill… you can take ANYTHING Britain has to throw at you! ;)
December 3, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Lindsay
Not sure whereabouts you are, but we’re having one hell of an “autumn” here in Atlanta. It’s been cold like WTF. If we get any snow, we are so screwed – the city just shuts down when the weatherman even hints at flurries. We’ve had so many nights below freezing already that i’m sure whatever snow we get is gonna stick around at least a day or two.
Part of the reason i’ve taken up knitting is to make stuff to keep myself warm. If your office is cold, the fingerless gloves help, but arm-warmers are made of 100% pure win. My office is like a meat-locker, and with my arm-warmers, i feel like i barely need a sweater. It’s good times.
December 3, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Orodemniades
Huh, I had a dream about cannibalistic otters and woke up thinking, ‘ottermatic’.
Now I know who to blame.
I’m just sayin’.
December 3, 2007 at 6:13 pm
The Rotund
I’m in Orlando and, well, this hardly counts as winter in comparison to what y’all are going through. But when it is 50 degrees outside at night, I really AM glad for the extra insulation my fat provides. Interestingly, my fat is not a burden during the summer. I don’t overheat or feel too warm or even sweat very much even when the temp is in the 90s. Looks like my fat works to insulate against the heat, too.
December 3, 2007 at 10:13 pm
OTM
Huh, I had a dream about cannibalistic otters and woke up thinking, ‘ottermatic’.
I’m here to help.
December 4, 2007 at 10:50 am
Chris
These guys have some cool T-shirts for those of us who are not (and don’t want to be) size 0!
http://www.cafepress.com/proudtobefat