You tell me:

1. Friday night I dreamed that I went to a ball game at Wrigley Field but was unable to fit into the seats. Not only were my hips wider than the arms of the chair by about six inches, but they were made of some hard material so unyielding that I couldn’t even wiggle in on the diagonal.

2. Saturday night I dreamed that I was performing in a fat girl burlesque/fashion show with Jennifer Lopez (who, I must state for the record, I do not consider fat) who was wearing a sequined thong and riding a fully decked out circus horse. We were all wearing blue and silver and I most adamantly did not want to be there.

3. Last night I dreamed I went to the gynecologist to have my IUD removed only to be told that it had grown into my uterus and was thus unremovable. Ever.

Now I’m no dream interpreter, but I clearly have some body image stress kicking around that kooky brain of mine. Yeesh.